If Only
by bloodredcherry
Summary: Grissom helps Sara back from the edge. [yay GS] story complete


If Only... 

Disclaimer**: **Nothing [besides the idea] is mine! The song is **Aqualung**- strange and beautiful (I'll put a spell on you). No infringement intended, this story is for entertainment purposes only. 

AN This has been kicking around for a while…I'm quite proud of it.

Summary**:** Grissom helps Sara back from the edge.

Rating**: **G

~*~

****

I've been  
watching your world from afar  
I've been  
trying to be where you are

It was dark in the locker room and the metal was cool against Sara Sidle's heated skin. She'd meant to go home to cry but hadn't made it that far. 

She collapsed against the bench, crushing her fist against her mouth, muffling her sobs. 

It was all too much. All too much for her. 

****

And I've been  
secretly falling apart  
I've seen 

Why? A question that hung in the air. A question no one could answer. 

Sara had always tried to separate herself from the victims...the best way she could but lately it was becoming more and more difficult. 

Something was lost and she didn't know how to find it. Something inside her was cracked and her heart was bleeding onto the floor.

****

To me  
You're strange and you're beautiful

The one person, the only person had said no. As if it were that simple. He was confused, didn't he realize? Sara barely slept at night. 

Now...and now...

****

you'd be

so perfect with me but you just  
can't see  
you turn every head but you don't  
see me

Sara lay her hand against the cold metal of Nick's locker; she needed to go home. She needed to have a long warm bath, she needed to wash this all away but she couldn't move. 

She needed something to hold onto. 

****

I'll put a spell on you  
You'll fall asleep  
And I'll put a spell on you

  
"Sara." 

His name rolled off her lips and a shiver of pleasure ran up her spine. 

No. No. No. No. 

Her sigh was more of a whimper. 

"Are you okay?" 

****

And when I wake you  
I'll be the first thing you see  
and you'll realize you love me

  
'Does it look like I'm okay?' She wanted to scream. She turned and saw him in the doorway, his face etched with concern. 

"Honey." 

She must have imagined that. Just like she imagined the looks and the subtle touches a hundred times. 

"Sara." He was behind her, cupping her elbow, his other hand pressed to the small of her back. "You've been crying." His index finger traced her cheek gently...a whisper then it was gone. 

Hold me. She begged. 

****

Yeah  
  
**Yeah**

His left hand dropped onto her shoulder, guiding her towards him as he wrapped his arms around her. Enveloping her. 

Everything. 

Finally Sara could breathe. 

****

Sometimes  
the last thing you want comes first  
Sometimes_  
_the first things you want never come

She felt his heart pounding in his chest, matching her own. His hands were shaking. He was afraid, nervous, and gentle. 

****

And I know

that waiting is all you can do  
Sometimes

He whispered softly in her ear, words blurring into comfort, warmth, Grissom. 

Finally Sara could breathe again. 

****

I'll put a spell on you  
You'll fall asleep  
I'll put a spell on you

There was nothing else; the last few months faded away, the sounds of the crime lab vanished. Grissom shifted and Sara wrapped her arms tightly around him and he didn't let go. 

****

And when I wake you

I'll be the first thing you see  
and you'll realize that you love me

Finally Sara pulled back, blinking, disoriented. A soft smile touched Grissom's lips. 

They.fit.so.well. 

****

I'll put a spell on you  
You'll fall asleep  
Cos I put a spell on you

Sara didn't want to break this moment, she wanted to stay like this forever. But she knew the real world was waiting out there, the real world where Grissom and Sara pretended. 

She looked into his eyes and saw something she didn't expect. 

Fear. 

****

And when I wake you  
I'll be the first thing you see  
and you'll realize you love me

His trembling lips met hers, brief. Then the door to the locker room opened and the sound assaulted Sara's ears. They pulled away, always pulled away. 

****

Yeah  
  
Yeah  
  
Yeah

Sara caught Grissom's eye and he held her gaze unfaltering. 

****

Yeah  
  
Yeah

Finally she could breathe again. 

FIN

Read and review, but no flames please!


End file.
